"We're getting there"

That's what Jack's teacher said when I came to pick him up Friday. He played mostly outside (he tends to stay inside when he's tired/sad), seemed happy, and stayed for 2 1/2 hours. Maybe we'll try for 3 today.

Getting back on track

We thought we were all getting perfectly adjusted to preschool. For the first 2 weeks, Jack clearly enjoyed himself there, slept and ate better, and came home buzzing with enthusiasm. He did not seem to miss me when I dropped him off, though was always pleased to see me when I came back to take him home.

Then we hit a little bump. Last Wednesday Jack fell asleep at preschool, and I had to go pick him up and bring him home. This was the prelude to a little cold, and he spent the weekend crabby and napping, which threw off his sleep schedule.

So Monday rolled around and I filled in for an ill teacher during Jack's preschool shift. He was still a bit tired and wanted to go home early, so we did. I kept things mellow on Tuesday, and he continued to recover from his cold. Wednesday was my first preschool snack day -- I brought melon, red pepper strips, and zucchini bread with cream cheese for all the kids, and Jack "helped" me set that up in the preschool kitchen. Then he didn't want me to leave. Over and over he said "ready for mommy to pick me up now." I hung out a bit longer, and after consulting the pm director, kissed him goodbye and took off. According to the director, he cried for awhile and then pretty much moped around. When I came back to pick him up after 2 hours, he was starting to warm up to the idea of preschool, but was still a bit low. Jack finally did not nap and had a decent (and somewhat early) sleep last night, so I'm hoping that will put him back on the no nap/early bedtime/sleep until past 6am train again. Toot toot.

Today both Hans and I approached the preschool topic gingerly with him. He said a few times he didn't want to go, and I countered with "you'll just go for a little while and then I'll pick you up," which seemed ok. When we got there he said again "ready to pick up now," and his chin quivered a bit. I read him one book and then kissed him goodbye. I know the director will call if he's beyond coping, so I'm watching the clock and listening for the phone until his early pick up time.

This has been a good lesson for me. I've had to really scale back my expectations and desires for what I want preschool to be like for me, and focus on what's best for Jack. I had hoped to get some good 4 hour chunks to write, cook, maybe even lounge about (gasp!), but that's not really happening now. It will at some point. Right now I need to be patient and give him more emotional support when we're together at home, rather than letting him play by himself and trying to squeeze in one more load of laundry or email. I see the difference when I stay to close to him -- he is more secure and less whiny. So instead of a rest time before we headed off to school, today I read with him.

I'll update tomorrow how things went for him today....

Not quite star struck

I went to college with students who went on to work for the New York Times, major television networks, and countless other prestigious places. And now I can say I went to college with a dude on Dancing with the Stars.

Jeffrey Ross lived on the floor below mine freshman year, only then his name was Jeff Lifschultz. It's kind of strange to me that he ended up as a comedian, since out of everyone I knew in college, he was not nearly the funniest. Perhaps he is the worst dancer though....

He hides/mommy fumes

Jack's a sweet, smart, funny boy, but he has one "hobby" that really drives me nuts. He hides his number and letter puzzle pieces, and then wants me to find them. Two problems here: he's really good at hiding them and I don't want to find them anymore -- it's like a toddler version of Sisyphus in that it never ends. I keep encouraging him to look for the pieces himself. When he does find one he is very pleased, but all day long he begs and whines for me to find the pieces. Is this some strange developmental stage? When will it end? Should I just take the puzzles and pieces away?

Watching movies

Since Jack goes to sleep earlier, we're getting a chance to watch some movies these days. Netflix tells me we watched only 3 movies from July to late August, but we've already watched 4 in September.

We loved:
This is England -- British movie about 1983 England, skinheads, and the aftermath of the Falkland war
You're Gonna Miss Me -- documentary about Roky Erickson -- be sure to watch the update in the extras all the way to the end, which is nothing short of shocking
Into the Wild -- I didn't expect this from Sean Penn -- really loved the acting and the way he captured the spirit of the book

Not so much:
Stormy Monday -- director Mike Figgis's first movie. It's a long way from this stinker to Leaving Las Vegas
Eastern Promises -- loved Viggo, but I thought the movie was emotionally flat
Tristram Shandy -- a mess of a movie, but I had one good laugh at the chestnut scene.
Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford -- thought Brad Pitt was miscast and it was waaaaay too long. Nicely shot though

Anybody care to offer some titles for our Netflix queue? We'd love a juicy blockbuster from the last 2 years....

Worn out by preschool

I remember at our preschool orientation one of the parents said that the afternoon kids get so worn out they barely make it through dinner and bath before passing out. I scoffed at that -- no way this would happen with Jack, who a few months ago could run and play and talk all day long but still would go to sleep at 8:30 or 9 (or later).

I'm happily eating my words. Since school started, Jack's gone to sleep around 7:15 or 7:30 every night (except for the one day he had an accidental car nap) and sleeps until 5:45-6:45.

Yesterday when I brought him back from preschool I asked him if he wanted to read a book. He said yes then got into bed. "I'm tired so I'm getting into bed," he said. Wow. I was speechless.

Yea hurray for preschool!

Happy Mondays

For the first time in a long time, I'm preferring Mondays to Sundays. Because Monday is a preschool day!

He's loving it!

Jack adores preschool. He starts saying "ready to go to preschool!" about an hour before his session starts. When we roll up to the gate I can barely contain him as he struggles to climb out of the stroller and get inside the grounds. I drop him off with a kiss and return 3 hours later, to be greeted with "mommy came back!" No tears.

Yesterday when we came home from preschool he was practically bouncing off the walls with energy and joy. We see a change in him after less than 2 weeks of ps; he relates differently to people and his brain is engaged in a new way. He is tired too -- last night he slept from 7:30 - 6.

And amazingly enough, yesterday he had no pee accidents, not even at preschool. Ok, he did poop in his pants once at home, but he also pooped in the potty once at home, so that's hopeful.

First two days of preschool

In two weeks, Jack's potty training has progressed really well. On a good day, he has one or two accidents, but they are usually fairly small, rather than floor-drenchers. Even better, Jack'll now often pull down his pants and underpants by himself and pee, rather than have us do it for him. We do still have a rough time in the late afternoon -- puddles do appear if I'm not on him constantly.

His first 2 days of preschool were really quite wonderful. Both days were extremely hot both inside and outside of the building, but Jack didn't seem too bothered by the heat. He mostly stayed inside exploring. Tomorrow he'll stay for 3 hours, which includes circle time and snack -- I'm hoping he can sit still for ct.

I feel like I've been training him for a marathon, and now it's started. He may win, he may lose... but at least he's out there running....

Parenting essentials, from birth-age 3

These are/were my top picks, how about you?

birth-1
breast pump (not fun, but needed it)
sling/backpack (for walks and hikes)
washer and dryer (cloth diapers)
bouncy chair (for a few minutes of distraction)
extra help (should have asked for more family visits)

1-2:
safety gates and childproof latches (we needed them)
stroller (got constant use)
highchair (fantastic for when he started to feed himself)
mini food processor (baby food)
playpen (otherwise how would laundry ever have been done)

2-3:
Ibuprofen (for me, not him)
sweatpants and washer/dryer (potty training)
baby monitor (fun for playing "what is he doing in there?" at bedtime)
cd player (for mellow music at bedtime)
earplugs (for when my kind husband lets me sleep late)
memberships (Coyote Point, Zoo, Discovery Museum)

3-4:
?

First day

Well, after all our potty training drama, we made it to Jack's first day of preschool after all. Jack was a bit overwhelmed (me too), but he did great using the potty and explored the school a bit. We're going back today!

Making letter shapes

The best laid plans of mice and mommys

We're still here. Potty training progress has been slow (Thursday was a disaster), but we keep moving forward. Unfortunately, it looks as if we'll need to postpone his preschool start date, since Jack's not really up to the required potty training standards. However, this evening he did poop in the potty, a big step!

A bit better today

Things have improved. Jack peed several times in his underpants or bathing suit today, but only a little at a time. When he sat on the potty he peed quite a bit, so it feels like he's figuring things out.

We had a gorgeous sunny warm day today, so we spent most of the day in the yard or on the deck. Jack went snail hunting and we picked our daily apple from our gravenstein tree.

He did poop in his underpants again, but it wasn't as messy as yesterday. We'll work on that tomorrow.

I do feel hopeful this evening.

Potty training: day 2

(warning: somewhat graphic potty talk ahead. skip this post if you're likely to be offended.)

Day one was good. Jack was excited about the chocolate chips and only had one accident all day. We even went to the playground and used the bathroom there 5 times.

Day two not so good. I expected some resistance after a successful day one, and I got it. He would not be swayed by chocolate chips. We went through about a dozen pairs of underpants and pants, shorts, pajama bottoms, you name it. He achieved one spectacular poop-in-his-pants outside in the garden. The only remedy for that was a quick bath.

Toward the end of the afternoon I no longer used a timer or asked him if he was ready to sit on the potty. I just picked him up and plopped him down. He protested, but oh well -- tell it to the judge.

But what Jack might not realize is this: I won't back down. I don't want to go through this again. Forward only.

Panic

Wow, I really screwed up. I remembered Jack's first day of preschool as September 15th, but I just found out it's the 3rd. That's next week.

So we're canceling all plans and hunkering down with a stack of underpants and a bag of chocolate chips.

Wish us luck!

Progress

Jack's sleeps are stretching slowly, slowly. He's been going to sleep between 7:45-9 (usually around 8:30) and sleeping through to 6:30 or 6:45.

I have to say, getting up for the day at 6:30 is way better than the 5am wake up call Jack used to provide.

He's also getting better at putting himself to sleep -- twice this week we read to him until he was calm, then left the room and (eventually) Jack fell asleep, without running around or wrecking his room. Last night when I went to tuck him in before I went to sleep, I found he had fallen asleep in the little pillow nest behind his bed, with a book in his hands.

Big boys and auntie Dorothy

My sister and 2 of her 3 sons came for a visit last week. We all had a great time playing cards, picking blackberries, and hiking, among other things.

The highlight for everyone was probably our afternoon at Limantour Beach. Giancarlo and Matthew built sandcastles and Jack ran up and down the beach with Hans while Dorothy and I sat and talked while watching the waves.

I was quite worn out by the time they headed back to Boston, but happy!

Babysitter

Sitting happily with a bag of Bronx grapes (http://www.slowfoodusa.org/ark/bronx_grapes.html) at the San Francisco Ferry Building farmers market Saturday.

Love bug

I usually don't notice any big sudden changes in Jack's development, but a few days ago he had a dramatic increase in his language skills -- he started speaking clearly in full sentences and using "I" consistently instead of "b" (for beeboo).

He's also become very snuggly and loving. All day long he says "I love you mommy," and "I miss da," (when Hans is at work). He'll come up to me and say "give mommy hug and kiss," which is wonderful.

Jack's still crazy about letters and numbers. He prefers the "red" playground over any other because this playground has some letters and numbers panels and no other nearby playground does. At home he makes letters out of wooden blocks and requests that we draw or paint numbers on paper. This morning he spelled ice cream: ixcereo.

Quote of the day: "Letters eat everything. Letters are omnivores."

Mountain joy

Jack went to sleep late then got up early 2 nights in a row. Yesterday we spent the morning at the farmers market and playground, then came home for lunch and quiet time. Jack got whiny and I knew he was tired, so I let him crash in his room (he fell asleep on the floor). But he only slept for 45 minutes and woke up in a state. This happens from time to time and I never know what to make of it -- he cries and cries and nothing seems right. I held him and tried to get him to stop crying long enough to tell me what was wrong so we could fix it. But maybe the world was wrong, because nothing helped.

I called Hans to ask for advice and he suggested taking Jack for a drive or watching a video. I got Jack dressed, strapped him into the car, and drove up to the top of "our" mountain. It was foggy yesterday, and little rivulets of water drained down the fire road. As soon as his feet hit the muddy trail, he calmed down. Swinging the blackberry bucket and carrying a small wooden giraffe, Jack hiked up to the top of the hill with me, where we spent quite a while picking blackberries. He is really a very good berry picker -- sees the best ones and goes for them, regardless of the thorns.

When we had picked all the ripe berries on those hilltop bushes we wound our way downhill past Hummingbird Point, trekked across the grassland where a hawk watched our progress from a dead tree, and squeezed through the native treasures segment of the trail. Jack tried his first huckleberry. Ghostly white snowberries dangled from their branches like tiny full moons. We trudged back into the forest to the fire road and back to car, all the while debating the fruit preferences of his favorite animals (Jack thinks coyotes love strawberries the best). He hiked the entire way, and never once asked me to carry him.

It just looks like a hula skirt

We're taking a break from potty training the past few days, and we were out of our regular diapers yesterday, so Jack was wearing pull-ups. At the playground his diaper gave way, leaving his pants soaked. I had slipped up on one of the foremost rules of toddlerhood -- always bring extra pants! So I took his pants off and draped his "toasty warm" over his thighs. He said he was comfortable all the way home in the stroller!

Also visible: bowl of pretzels, cup with our proprietary blend of carrot and apple juices, favorite new king snake toy, and Dinosaur Train book.

The magic of the Red Balloon

Jack watches almost no tv these days. His heavy infatuation with his ABC's and 123's dvds has abated a bit, and occasionally he'll ask to watch a Yo Gabba Gabba episode, but mostly we're unplugged. I almost never encourage him to watch anything, with one exception: I plop him down on the sofa to watch the Red Balloon when he really needs a nap.

This lovely French movie from 1956 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Red_Balloon) is one of Hans's favorites from his childhood. It follows a young boy and his balloon through Paris. Our dvd is subtitled, but there isn't much dialog, and it doesn't seem to matter to Jack. He watches rapt and then falls asleep.

Looking for bedtime solutions

I once read on another blog that after you make it through your child's first year, you never give your child's sleep another thought. Either that parent was extraordinarily lucky or we're abnormal, because sleep is just about all we do talk about here (well, and the futility of potty training).

I've come to terms with the idea that Jack is not a big sleeper. He sleeps fine, just not very much. Most nights he's slumbering by 8 or 8:30, and he wakes up for the day between 6-6:30. That doesn't leave us much time to ourselves, but we take what we can get. The real problem is getting him to sleep, a task which Hans undertakes most nights. About 1/2 the time Jack does fall asleep on his own (eventually and after some power struggles), either when Hans is reading to him or by himself once Hans leaves his room. But the rest of the time is not fun: Jack gets out of bed, runs to his door, opens it, and runs out to find us. And, oh how he laughs.

I pretty much avoid specific-topic parenting books, but I'm wondering if we need a little sleep guidance here. We've tried a bit of a technique I saw once on Nanny 911 (back when I thought the experts had the answers), wherein the parent continually places the runaway child back in bed, as many times as it takes until the child gives up and goes to sleep. It hasn't worked and I surmised it was because we didn't keep it up until he surrendered, but last night I tried it until Jack became totally hysterical, so it doesn't seem like a good option for us.

I guess that leaves us, on those nights when Jack won't settle down on his own, in a familiar position of reading with him until he falls asleep, which we did just about every night from the time he started teething until Jack got his big boy bed last year. Maybe we're lucky it took Jack this long to discover he doesn't have to stay in bed at bedtime. But we sure would like things to be a lot more mellow. How does everyone else get their toddlers to sleep?

Mental health day

We had a somewhat rough week at home, recovering from colds or flu or whatever it was, and then Jack went and got himself sick. He's been sick only a handful of times in his life, so I am never prepared for his illnesses; they surprise me each time.

This week his nose has been stuffed up, he's been coughing a bit, and running an occasional low fever. I treated him with Tylenol and a few extra popsicles, but he was a little beast for 2 days, with operatic tantrums, super clinginess, and crazy sleep patterns. Last night Hans fought the Epic Battle of Bedtime, and Jack didn't go to sleep until 10:30. As usual he was up this morning at 6 something.

Hans gave me the day off, so I headed out for a hike around 10:30, only to discover it was flaming hot on the peninsula! Oh well, I hiked anyway, enjoying myself at Pulgas Ridge. (You can read some more about the hike on my new blog: http://bayareahiker.blogspot.com/) I came home hot but happy, took a shower, checked in on Jack (still crazy, still a little sick), then took a nap. What a wonderful relaxing day. Thanks Hans!

Two from the zoo

Almost forgot, we had a fun but mercurial (word of the week around here) trip to the Oakland Zoo last Sunday. This was our second ever visit and the first time we never made it to the Children's Zoo, so Sunday we started there. It is excellent -- the animal areas are large and cheerful and there's plenty of interactive stuff for the kids to climb on and explore. Unfortunately there is no goat feeding at this zoo, but Jack did get to pet these goats. Jack really really loved the fruit bats -- none of us had ever seen them before, and we can't stop talking about them. Our visit was marred with a few "goes to 11" tantrums, but all in all it was a fun trip. One of the highlights was watching Jack ride by himself on the little car ride. That was a first.

Berry picking

The weather was lovely Wednesday, so Jack and I hiked up Mount Davidson for some berry picking. Most of the blackberries were still very green, but we picked about a cup while watching swallowtail butterflies and hummingbirds zipping around. We'll be back!

Poor poor pitiful me

Out of nowhere Tuesday while eating dinner I got caught by the flu. It was so strange, one minute I was fine, the next I was sick. Yesterday I slept all day which helped a bunch, but I'm still a mess. My teeth throb, throat is raw, ears ache, nose is stuffed, and even my eyes hurt. I've had two nights of lovely fever hallucinations -- the first night it was blood dripping down the wall (a red shirt was hanging on the outside of Hans' closet) and then last night coyote-goats were pooping on Hans' side of the bed (sounds like one of Jack's dreams).

Hans may have the flu now too, but there's still hope that Jack will dodge it.

Motherhood blues

When Jack was a baby and we made our first excursions to our local playgrounds, I expected other moms (I'm not being sexiest here, there just aren't many dads) to welcome me to their club. I didn't expect everyone to love me instantly and want to be my best friend, but I did anticipate a certain level of civility. Instead I found that some moms would chat, but more often than not, I came across moms who were not willing to engage. Some wouldn't even make eye contact. I took this personally for a very long time. Any time a mom would talk to me I felt like I was getting mom validation. When I was shunned, I felt like crap. I can vividly remember many days spend sulking at the playground, with babies crawling all around and no one recognizing my existence. Yeah, just like high school, only with the addition of an infant.

Things weren't much better at Acrosports, where I saw and was ignored by the same moms every week. A neighborhood moms group helped a bit, but just about everyone in it was headed back to work when their children were still quite young, so there were few opportunities for hanging out.

After a while, I had an insight. I had been treating motherhood like one giant hobby club, and expected that every mom would want to be friends with every other mom. Look at all we had in common! We've all had babies! We change diapers! We all need more sleep! Instead, it's been more instructive for me to see motherhood as a job. Sure, we are connected by our common motherhood, but that in itself, sadly, doesn't pull us together. When I think about all the coworkers I've had throughout my working life, there have only been about a dozen people with whom I really connected and became good friends. With most people, I interacted in polite water-cooler relationships, and some coworkers were so crazy/creepy/whatever I went out of my way to avoid them. Why should the giant motherhood cartel be any different?

Luckily over time I have made a few mom friends. I cherish them, and look forward to preschool, where I am sure I will make some more friends.

But that sad lonely feeling is still there sometimes. Maybe it never goes away. Some days as I chase Jack around the playground I catch sight of new moms with small babies. I always make sure to smile, say hello, and compliment them on their children. Life as a mom is rough enough -- we can all use a little bit of kindness, or just the acknowledgment that we are seen. And when it comes right down it, I love every mom, because every mom is me.

The end of irony and other assorted tidbits

Big brain growth spurt this week. All day long Jack asks "why?".

Here's an interesting mental exercise: explain the concept of jury duty to a 2 1/2 year old.

We have many earnest conversations where there is absolutely no room for irony. "That's right, that man does have a penis" and "the goat poops out of that hole".

When we read "C is for Coyote" (one of our alphabet books) we substitute words, so instead of b is for bobcat, b is for butterfly. Then we read the text with the substitute words (anybody out there remember Mad Libs?). He thinks it's hysterical.

Jack pronounces coyote "coytoye" and I don't think I ever want him to say it the correct way.

After months of passionately loving the wild animals at Coyote Point, Jack is getting crazy about farm animals. The goats at the zoo are his new favorites, although he is a bit scared of them still. Each time he gets more brave. Today on the way to the zoo he said "I really really really want to pet the goats today." He enjoyed brushing and petting them over and over.

Jack's also nuts for snakes. When we went for a hike last week at Arastradero we saw a gopher snake, which thrilled him. He has 2 small plastic snakes, which he calls gopher snake and rattlesnake. Dig his explanation of snake names: rattlesnake have rattles at the end of their tails, king snakes have kings at the end of the their tails, gopher snakes have gophers at the end of their tails, etc.

We kept the stroller at home and walked everywhere this week. He willingly walked (or ran) for 3+ hour spans through the zoo, as well as on the sidewalks to and from the playground and through the farmers market.

Goodbye naps!

Yesterday was Jack's fourth day in a row without a nap. Wednesday night he slept from 7:30 to 7. Last night he slept from 7:45 to 7. I don't think I've ever seen him as well-rested and happy as he was yesterday. He played by himself for most of the afternoon. By himself! Happily! This is a very encouraging and joyful turn.

Jacksitting

In the past month we've (finally) entered the realm of babysitting. We've left Jack twice with 2 different sitters, and he did great each time. His last nighttime sitter, Ian, made quite an impact on Jack -- he's been talking about her ever since, and wants a picture of the two of them together.

Today another sitter came and played with him for 3 hours while I caught up on a bunch of stuff. As I sat at my computer and listened to them as they hung out in Jack's room, I realized why I'm so tired at the end of each day -- the boy is exhausting! He just doesn't stop talking and playing and jumping up and down (sometimes all at once). When Paula left Jack was very nearly vibrating with energy.

Here's what I accomplished during those 3 hours:
made bread dough
started a load of laundry
answered emails
called my sister
filled out Jack's preschool paperwork
filed about 4 months worth of bills
worked on my website (hooray!)

What an awesome luxury. I felt like I was on vacation!

Eating right out of the garden

While we were watering the vegetables this morning, Jack wanted a beet, so I pulled one up out of the dirt, washed it off, and he ate it raw standing in the garden, with beet juice running down his face. Then he ate one of our carrots! Obviously we need to plant more vegetables....

I decided to check one of the potato plants, and since I could feel a potato in the dirt, I pulled it up. Six small potatoes! I'll let the other potato plants grow much longer, but I just had to see them to believe them.

No luck at all so far with the lettuces and zucchini. Something (I'm guessing snails) eats each zucchini sprout almost immediately, and the lettuces just never got beyond tiny sprouts. I started another batch of lettuce, using fewer seeds, and I'll try the zucchini this time on the deck.

Fruits (and vegetables) of our labor

Our edible garden experiments are coming along well. We've pulled a few young carrots and beets and they have been tasty, albeit small. Next year I'll thin the young plants better. We have 4 big pots with potatoes, 3 tomato plants, and newly planted lettuces and zucchini. The big surprise has been our apple trees. We planted them just over a year ago, and each has a ton of small apples. I'm not sure when to try to eat them -- many are blushing already, but I've read that the earliest apples aren't ripe until July. And they are still quite small. I guess we'll wait a bit and see.

I'm already thinking of next year and dreaming about new plants, but in the meantime I potted some herbs and installed them in our atrium, where they get a fair amount of and are out of harm's (aka slugs and snails) way.

A pillow socky for bobcat

A few weeks ago, we made a pillow socky for the bobcat at Coyote Point. As you can see from the first photo, Jack was so excited that he fell asleep in the car! I wasn't sure if the staff was merely being polite when they said they "loved it," so it was a delight and a surprise to see our pillow socky in bobcat's area yesterday. I couldn't get a decent photo of both the pillow socky and bobcat, but that's her in the background, asleep. We may make another pillow socky for the coyote next!

A day at Tilden

Yesterday we took advantage of the light holiday weekend traffic and sped over to Tilden Park. Our first stop was the steam train, which is my favorite local train ride -- I love the views and the scenery. Jack liked it too, but he was a bit confused about our location; he kept asking to see the meerkats next (no little dude, that's the zoo).

We left the train and drove to the Little Farm area, where we enjoyed a little picnic in the grass, then explored the farm, which Jack did not like like at all. He expressed disdain for all the everyday animals, and only wanted to see meerkats (sorry little dude, not here). After a quick tour of the visitor center we set off on a spontaneous hike.

I did have a Tilden map, but had a hard time telling what trail we were on (turns out the Olmstead Brothers map is much better for this part of the park, anyway, it was Lower Pack Rat). We walked on a narrow path lined with lush vegetation, including thimbleberry, blackberry, and currant, as well as dogwood, ninebark, twinberry, hazelnut, alder and other typical riparian natives. This is a very good path for kids, because it's nearly level and poison oak is present, but not dominant. Chickadees flitted about and we got a glimpse of two deer through the foliage. Eventually we ended up at the tip of Jewel Lake, and it was an easy walk back to Little Farm and the parking lot. Jack walked the entire first leg, but on the way back started to get seriously poky. I carried him the last 1/2 mile, and he fell asleep on the way home. Fun day!

New interests

Jack has gone completely bonkers for letters and numbers. He sometimes wakes up crying about them -- I think at those times he's frustrated because he's not counting or spelling right that second. All day long we spell and count and read books about numbers and letters. He knows all the letters and can count to 13 (sometimes 14). On a hunch we got him They Might Be Giants "Here Comes the ABCs" on dvd and that has been an enormous hit. If he could I think he would watch it over and over all day long (he sure asks to!).

In the morning, as soon as he finishes watching the ABCs dvd, he starts running around the house shouting "Coyote Point Museum" repeatedly. The river otter, coyote, raccoons, badger, and owl are fascinating and get admired accordingly, but Jack particularly adores the bobcat. We also spend a lot of time visiting the bee hive. Last week Jack watched the bees coming into the hive and said "some of them have pollen on their legs, and some of them don't."

The two of us went for a short hike this morning "up on the mountain" (Mount Davidson). He walked up the fire road to the top, then I loaded him into the backpack and carried him the rest of the loop. Wow, he is heavy. We are looking into a different carrier option, as the backpack really compresses my upper chest and feels very uncomfortable. Jack really enjoyed both the walking and the backpacking, so that was a happy thing for me.

Family hike!

We successfully accomplished our first family hike of the toddler era this morning. Previous attempts had been quite bad, with lots of tears, screaming, and tantrums. Jack would ride or walk for a short distance, then stop to pick up rocks and demand to go home.

Today's hike was at San Pedro Valley Park in Pacifica, one of my favorite places to hike. Valley View Loop was a good choice, not too long and with lots to see, including plenty of monkeyflower and ceanothus blooming. Paintbrush and coyote mint were just starting their blooms. Hans carried Jack in the backpack and kept him occupied the entire way, pointing out a deer, flowers, birds, views, and lots of trailside scat. We didn't see a bobcat but we went to the visitor center after our hike and showed Jack the stuffed bobcats (we called them pretend bobcats for now) and he was happy with that.


Jack fell asleep in the car on the way home and is now napping. Hurray!

Calm and happy (but tired) today

It's been a dry week for naps until today, when Jack relented and finally took one. He's been going to sleep a bit earlier, but still gets up 6ish (sometimes earlier). His moods are more stable this week, and we've had fewer tantrums.

With no naps to schedule, our days are more free. We've had some really fun trips, to Coyote Point, the Zoo, and the Discovery Museum. He really adores seeing the animals at Coyote Point, and talks about them all the time. The zoo is always a happy destination as long as the train is running. And now everything at the Discovery Museum is interesting to him, so we can easily spend an entire day there.

Not much else to report, except potty training is pretty much off this week. Been too tired to fully concentrate on it, and Jack's been mostly unwilling.

A conversation

Me: "Jack, it's rest time."
Jack: "Don't want to nap."
Me: "What does robot say about that? Remember? Your body needs lots of rest so you can run fast and play."
Jack: "I don't care."

About 1/2 hour later he fell asleep on the floor.

Train rides

Today Jack wanted a smoke stack on his little potty (like the one in "The Potty Train" book). I cut one out of cardboard and taped it to the back of the potty. No, he wanted it on the front -- duh mommy, it's a smokestack! So I carefully centered it on the front and he managed to get on the potty. Immediately he revised his demands. Now he also wanted a bell and a whistle. Could I put them on the back? No no mommy, on the front, next to the smokestack. I reduced the smokestack, then made a whistle and bell and taped them on either side. He could still get on the potty, carefully, but then he didn't want to poop there. Instead he asked to sit on the big potty, which he did very successfully, all the while admiring the small potty. We sat there so long we had time to make up names for the potties. Small potty is "Little Puffer." Big potty is "Big Boy."

Napping update: he fell asleep sitting on the floor, leaning against his bed, during his "rest time." He's still there!

Preschool bound

We found out yesterday that we have been accepted into preschool. Lucky for us -- we only applied to one, so if hadn't got in, we would have had to wait another year. Jack will be in an afternoon program 3 days a week, starting in September. So we have 4 months and change to drop his nap and potty train.

Turns out the nap thing is mostly over anyway, if this week is typical. Jack gets up for the day between 6-7, same as always. Monday he wouldn't nap, and went to sleep at 8:30. Yesterday he was insanely tired and eventually had a nap from 3-5:15, and was asleep around 10 (I think I may have beat him to slumberland, but I actually can't remember; Hans was monitoring the situation closely while I passed out). Today he didn't nap but we did ok -- he stayed in his room for an hour and ransacked the place, but not as completely as Monday. He will not stay in bed and try to nap. He will shred his books into strips, dump legos out of their bin, open and shut the shutters, and pull diapers out of their drawer. Today I got to him just before he pillaged the wipes box.

My coping with this new arrangement is improving. Monday felt like a disastrous battle and yesterday was really hard, but I think I can help him better next time he gets that tired, by reading to him in our chair instead of insisting he get into bed. When I did that yesterday he then willingly got into bed and I sang to him until he fell asleep. Today he was way more cheerful and not tired at all, so I just let him run around in his room while I read in another room for an hour. I will admit that it's much harder to get stuff done, so I let him watch a couple of Yo Gabba Gabbas (like right now) so I can make dinner and do the other million things I do every day. Blogging turns out to be essential because it helps me relax and reconnect with myself. It's a trade-off I'm ok with.

Groundhog days

Jack loves repetition. We read the same Winnie the Pooh stories, play the same games, and listen to the same cds, over and over and over. For months, we constantly listened to a Beatles compilation Hans made, and Jack begged to hear his "moon song" whenever we were in the car. Lately, Jack's favorite cd is They Might Be Giants "Here Come the ABC's." It's very listenable for parents, but we hear it so much that neither Hans nor I can get the songs out of our heads.

On Friday I couldn't face another morning of listening to "Who Put the Alphabet in Alphabetical Order" and "Go Go Go for G," so I whisked Jack off to the Zoo. He climbed up the tall tower then slid down the tube slide for awhile, then we rode the train 2 times, had lunch at the Leaping Lemur Cafe, and strolled through the monkey area. We got to see a zebra and giraffe, which he enjoyed. Hours of zoo fun, with no musical accompaniment! Then back home for a nap. I was exhausted, but my mind enjoyed the break!

Sick and tired

What a challenging week. I've been struggling with another cold and premenstrual fatigue, and Jack, well, he's just been nuts.

We've been battling all week at nap time -- yesterday Jack wouldn't stay in bed and I was in and out of his room many many times, but he did finally go to sleep. Today, I figured that after a morning at the Discovery Museum he'd be tired out and ready for a nap. I put him in bed and flopped down to rest a bit. He was quiet for awhile, but then I heard him out of bed. I went in to find a mangled diaper and pee all over the bed, the carpet, and his clothes (he was "looking for my penis"). I put him in clean clothes and changed the sheets, but he was very wound up and it was pretty obvious he wasn't going to nap. I was so tired and emotionally worn down that I called Hans and he kindly came home from work early. The two of them went off to buy a new tire for Hans's Norton, and Jack fell asleep in the car on the way home. He woke up at 5:15, so we have no idea what will happen this evening. This is one of those days when I wished I had a job so I could have an 8 hour break from toddertown.

In other news, potty training is chugging along. He's been really good about pooping in the potty, and is willing to wear underpants sometimes, but most of the time he won't. I think we've drifted into the forbidden zone that parents of potty trained kids warn against -- going back and forth from diapers to underpants when you're supposed to discard the diapers and never look back. Oh well.

I've been giving him small gifts as potty bribes, and they have included little plastic animals. Black bear is now named "bear bear" as well as "teeth bear" (Jack brushed the bear's teeth with one of those small magnetic letters so popular with toddlers). Bobcat is just bobcat and beaver just beaver. These animals converse with Jack at bedtime and according to Jack, last night he told them how to be careful around scissors and knifes (sic) and cars and parking lots.

When it's too quiet....

The evening seemed to be going so well. Jack's day had been strange -- it took him 2 hours to fall asleep for his nap, so we anticipated a struggle at bedtime. Instead, he was rather mellow, and seemed to be asleep at 9.

But when I went in at 10 to tuck him in, I spotted a white something on the floor near his bed. My first thought was that one of his stuffed animals had suffered an industrial accident, but when I got closer I found it was a soaked diaper doubler. Oh no. I peeked under his "tent" to find a sleeping boy with his one-piece pajamas unzipped, diaper half-off, and a wet bed. We re-diapered him, changed his pajamas, put a towel under him in bed, and hoped for the best. He slept fine, and after a marathon laundry session this morning, his bed is now back in order for his nap (fingers crossed).

I talked to him about it this morning, very gently urging him not to take off his diaper at night. When he overheard me telling his grandfather about the incident, he started jumping up and down and said "mommy said not to do that again!"

Many shades of tired

Before I got pregnant and birthed Jack, I never thought much about being tired. This doesn't mean I hadn't been tired before. Back in Brooklyn I arrived at a bread bakery in a seedy part of Long Island City very early twice a week, trudging through the dark streets as prostitutes headed home for the day, their work done. And when I worked at Farley's more often than not I was up at 5 am for the early shift. I have been pleasantly tired by many "day" hikes and completely exhausted with a few hard all-day hikes. A few times returning west from the Sierra on my motorcycle, I recall struggling with the oncoming glare from the sunset and body fatigue, feeling completely beat.

Then I had Jack, and learned the limits of exhaustion and the many shades of tired. There was early pregnancy sleepiness, late pregnancy get-up-every-hour-and-pee-in-the-night and stop-kicking-me-in-the-spleen weariness, and then total exhaustion during the last stage of labor, when I found I could no longer push all the way through the contractions.

Directly after delivery I suppose pain (and terror) were stronger than fatigue, but as my body recovered and I learned to trust that Jack would keep breathing even when I wasn't watching, pure exhaustion set in. I remember sitting in the pediatrician's waiting room trying to fill out paperwork with Hans, the both of us laughing as we struggled to accomplish the simple task. There were countless days splattered with the tears of sheer sleeplessness. For the most part, Jack has been a very healthy baby and toddler, sparing us anxious nights of stomach flu or ear aches, but it was still tough to get up every few hours and breastfeed him for well over a year. I recall attempting to read to him many times when I was so tired I couldn't register the words on the page. I knew what they were, but I couldn't get them out of my mouth. I would start a conversation with Hans but abandon it because I was just too tired to explain something. And worst of all, when I was really really tired, was the total body wipe out. Then I felt my body vibrating slightly, as if I was running 60 miles an hour in 1st gear.

These days Jack sleeps through the night and I suppose I would call myself well-rested (ha). But all it takes is one bad night, waking up at 4 and unable to sleep, or kept up in the wee hours by our slacker neighbors, and I'm back dragging myself through the day. Ah well, you know the name of this blog, right?

Worries and butterfly kisses

Jack has adjusted to the time change, and is sleeping and napping well. Hans puts him to bed between 8:30 and 9, and Jack sleeps until 6:30 or 7. Lately Jack's been requesting butterfly kisses before he goes to sleep, which is cute until he snatches off our glasses (the kid is fast). He likes these eyelash kisses on his nose, ears, mouth, forehead, and cheeks. Usually asks for some on his belly too, but those make him laugh too hard just before a nap or bed.

His verbal skills continue to amaze us. He has learned what it means to worry. Where did learn this? We were listening to "Good Day Sunshine" yesterday, and he said he was worried about "Here Comes the Sun," which is the next song on the CD. He didn't want to listen to it, so I put the player on repeat and we listened to GDS about 10 times in a row (I was hoping he'd be more of a George Harrison fan, oh well).

The weather has been mostly nice so we spend a lot of time outside in the yard or at the playground. Jack likes to water the beets and carrots we planted, and we enjoy watching them grow. Every day something new is leafing out or blooming, which is fun.

When we're inside, Jack is currently mad for play dough and floor puzzles, but anything train-related (or vaguely resembling trains) is a big hit.

State of the garden address

Our backyard assortment of natives and edibles planted last year is looking lively now that winter is waning. The small manzanita is dangling white blossoms, the ceanothus is a froth of purple, and the hummingbird sage is showing off hot pink flowers. California poppy, monkeyflower, California fuschia, toyon, coyote brush, coast live oak, buckwheat, spicebush, mock orange, and various penstemons all made it through the winter and are shooting up and out. I am very happy that the yellow bush lupine is thriving -- I started this from seed last year; the mother plant which literally grew through cement along the City College reservoir now looks quite dead. The coyote mint is the most impressive of the natives -- it's already spread out in a three foot radius. One lemon tree was badly injured during the strong winter storm and is iffy for survival, but the other Meyer lemon is doing well, with many new buds. The buds on the apple trees are just opening up.

Three weeks ago Jack and I began working on our vegetable garden. We started carrot, beet, and lettuce seeds inside, and today planted the sprouts outside in half wine barrels. Jack is enthusiastic about our efforts, and we talk about gardening all the time. I can't wait to eat the results!

I've never grown vegetables, so this is an experiment, mostly prompted by Barbara Kingsolver's Animal, Vegetable, Miracle. Growing our own food (even a little bit of it) seems a good introduction to a host of topics for Jack, including science, cooking, gardening, and ecology. And watching his little fingers sprinkle tiny seeds onto the dirt is pure magic.

It's not just the time change

Jack's nap is slipping from late morning to early afternoon. For some time he's been a dedicated 11:30 napper, but in the past week he hasn't been getting to sleep until about 1 or later. His morning wake up time and bedtime have stayed pretty constant, so I'm not sure where this late nap is going. Could be he's moving toward giving up his nap completely, which we've been expecting and anticipating for some time. Or maybe he's adopting a nap time closer to most kids his age?

Yesterday we went to San Pedro Valley Park in Pacifica for a few rounds of Pooh sticks. It turned out to be a good destination for this, and Jack adored finding sticks and tossing them off the 3 different bridges in the park. We saw and heard many birds, found milkmaids, plum trees, and trilliums in bloom, and enjoyed the sunny mild weather. This photo shows Jack practicing his letters, which he does constantly these days.

Amazing

What a truly awesome week it's been. Jack's verbal comprehension and communication skills have increased dramatically.

For one thing, he simply gets it. Anything and everything! He understands what we're saying and is almost always completely engaged in his interactions. It's no longer us talking at him, it's conversations back and forth.

He speaks in sentences more and more. Last night, Hans was trying to corral Jack into bed and Jack said "not yet." Hans asked him when it would be bedtime, and Jack answered "when the timer goes off" (we've been using a kitchen timer for some "time to..." backup and it works really well).

He understands time issues. We'll go the dentist and then go to the post office and then go home. Or to the playground after nappytime. He gets that.

He often knows what he wants and, with increasing frequency, asks for it politely. After nap, when I ask him if he wants a snack, he'll say (with great excitement) "crackers and cheese stars and cheese and pickles... please!"

He's more agreeable to change, even big changes. We've been trying to get him weaned from his binkeys for a few months, and although he has used them less and less, he has still requested them at nap and bedtime, and several other points during the day. Yesterday at naptime I noticed his 2 binkeys had holes in them. So into the trash they went, and I told Jack why. "We have no more binkeys," I said. And he was kind of quiet. "Beeboo bit a hole in binky," he said. "Yup," I said. "And we don't have any more." And that was it. No crying, no whining. We had the same kind of dialogue at bedtime last night and naptime today. I guess we hit that issue at the right time!

Hopping like a sock monkey

Yesterday Jack seemed to have a big brain growing day. He spoke several complete sentences (even using correct verb tenses!), hopped all over the place, and sang songs. He'd done a little of each of these before, but not with as much skill or intensity, and not all at once.

One of the songs he enjoys singing is a variation of a Yo Gabba Gabba song. We call it the family song. The original song goes, "a mommy, a daddy, a sister, a brother (etc.)... that is our family." Jack's version has a mommy, a da, a beebo, a pinecone monkey, a red engine, a blue engine, train tracks, Auntie Lola red caboose, pooh bear, tigger, rabbit, eeyore, piglet, and Christopher Robin (contents may vary). If we forget one of the members of the family Jacks says, "somebody missing."

Nobody said it was easy

Yesterday was day one of potty training boot camp -- at least that's how it felt to me. The first half of the day went pretty much as I imagined it would, with a couple big puddles in the dining room, some damp underpants, and a bunch of stickers on his potty chart. After his nap though, Jack refused to put his underpants on, and our afternoon was full of tantrums and clinginess. Overall, a totally exhausting day.

Today Jack is willing to wear underpants, but he really doesn't want to sit on the potty. Looks like we'll back off for a few days and then try again.

For now

For now our daily routine is well established and regular. Jack's doing great napping and sleeping, and is eating pretty well. He continues to adore trains and monkeys and is currently in love with the Winnie the Pooh stories.

During this calm center in the midst of Jack's toddler storm, we are about to shake things up in a big way. It's time for potty training.

Jack's been communicating a strong interest, so armed with many new underpants and a timer, we're going to give it a go.

The longer I am a mom, the more I believe that parenthood is one giant impermanence lesson. Jack changes so fast -- every day he is growing and learning and becoming more himself. I hope he will keep growing each day of his life. Potty training is one of the challenges that mark a transition from baby to childhood. It's happy and sad at the same time. For now.

Here comes the sun

After a few weeks of winter storms which kept us cooped up inside, we are all enjoying the wonderful sunny "spring" weather.

Jack is sleeping and eating better these days. Our big new development is that he is putting himself to sleep for his nap and bedtime. Many moons ago he was pretty easy going at nap and bedtime -- we could put him down in his crib awake and he would go to sleep. But when he started teething we couldn't get him to sleep without holding him. This was one of the reasons we put him in a bed at a relatively early age -- he was so big that it was agony hoisting him over the crib rail while he was asleep. In the past few months we've snuggled with him in his bed until he fell asleep, then crept out of the room. Now we cuddle and read and sometimes sing songs (when Jack lets us!). We tuck him in with tigger, pooh, and rabbit (not the Disney animals, just 3 stuffed animals that vaguely resemble the Winne the Pooh characters). Then we leave and listen to the baby monitor. Sometimes he plays with his friends a bit, talks and sings quietly, other days he falls straight asleep. So far he has stayed in bed except for yesterday's nap, when he got up, opened his door (!), and came running out asking to sit on the potty. We did that, then I got back into bed with him and snuggled him until he fell asleep (I think I stayed with him mostly because I was in shock that he had opened the door, and wanted to sit on the potty).

We are thrilled with the improvements in his sleep habits. We never wanted to do cry-it-out or have bedtime become a battleground with screaming and crying and tantrums. Jack actually says he likes taking naps, and bedtime is currently pretty mellow, with some protests, but nothing we can't work through.

Our next challenge: potty training. Jack and I went to the store this morning and bought some underpants (his request). Stay tuned (if you have any advice please post it here!).

An easy week

Despite the steady rain that kept us housebound, this past week has been probably the easiest since Jack was born! He's been sleeping and napping well. Still eating next to nothing, but we weighed him and he's gained a pound since his checkup last month. A typical day's food intake is usually one banana, one cup of juice, a little bit of some other fruit, a small amount of dinner, and milk throughout the day. Crazy!

Jack at a glance 1/22/8

Sleeping: From about 8:30-9:15 to 6, pretty consistent.
Napping: Yes. About 1 1/2-2 hours a day.
Eating: Oh my, no. We have some luck mixing stuff into yogurt. He likes raisins and apples. Last night I snuck some peas into his zucchini and yogurt (it's all he would agree to). But he's really unwilling to eat most of the time. After his nap he gets a small cup of juice which is often a mixture of carrot and apple, so at least he gets a small amount of vegetable, albeit in juice form. We are vigilant about vitamins.
Strollering: Yes! He's doing great in the stroller. I think I've gotten him off my back (literally) for now.
Fun: Jack loves swinging at the playground. For some unknown reason he calls that "monkey tape." The Discovery Museum is the perfect destination these days. Not only do they have a wonderful train room, but there are small dump trucks to push around and a gravel pit for scooping and dumping. At home, he enjoys playing with his trains and legos. Play-doh is a new favorite, and he hardly ever tries to eat it :)
Miscellaneous: He doesn't seem to favor one hand when eating, so we aren't sure if he is left- or right-handed. Jack adores the moon, and looks for it every time we are out walking, and at night. Last week we blew bubbles to the moon! He puts Pinecone (that's his favorite monkey) under a blanket to keep him "toasty warm."

Meet the Beatles!

Hans put together a Beatles mix cd a few weeks ago. We listen to it in Jack's room, and he loves the songs! It starts with "Good Day Sunshine" and "Here Comes the Sun," and as soon as I go into his room in the morning, Jack says "Good Day Sunshine" over and over until I turn it on. He also really enjoys "Me and My Monkey" (of course), "Fixing a Hole Where the Rain Gets in" and "Yellow Submarine".

I'm wondering what other "adult" cds he (and we) would enjoy. Is "Dark Side of the Moon" too strange for a 2-year old?

If anyone can think of good songs featuring monkeys and/or the moon, let me know....

Helping

Not only does Jack not mind when I am busy with household chores, he wants to help! I am happy to devise tasks for him to do alone, or for us to do together.

Together jobs:
changing his sheets
making pizza dough or cookies
unloading the dishwasher (tricky)
vacuuming
laundry
grinding coffee beans

Jack-only jobs:
carrying anything up the stairs
unloading grocery bags
filling the bird feeder
carrying napkins and silverware to the table
weeding (when given strict instructions!)

Teeth, again

Jack's 2-year molars are coming in. He is doing pretty well with this, except that in the past few days he has eaten next to nothing. Today he had 1/2 banana in the stroller on the way to the playground, about 1 cup of yogurt with raisins for lunch, and then more yogurt (no more raisins... I fear the wrath of extra raisins) and 1/2 whole wheat cookie. In retrospect, I should have made oatmeal or peanut butter cookies, at least that way he'd would have had a little more nutrition.

He will not entertain the idea of anything else mixed into his yogurt. No blueberries, peanut butter, or bananas. He will not eat anything else, unless you count milk, which he is drinking quite a bit of.

Thankfully, he will still take his vitamins.

Ugh

Jack has not been sleeping better at night. Tuesday night he slept from 9:15 to 4:45. Last night, again, 9:15 to 4:45, except this morning I managed to get him back to sleep at about 5:30. He got up at 6:15.

Jack is nonplussed by his short nights, but it hasn't been easy on us. We've been taking turns sleeping in the morning. One of us gets up with him and the other puts in earplugs and sleeps a bit more. This morning, although it was my turn to get up with Jack, I reneged on the deal and asked for more sleep -- I had woken up at 1 and tossed and turned for some time, all the while thinking about how I needed to be sleeping.

This mild sleep deprivation is nothing compared to Jack's first few months, when sleep was a very rare and precious thing indeed. But he is very active and strong (body and mind) and after awhile not getting a good night's sleep wears me down.

Two year checkup

Jack had his 2 year doctor visit yesterday, and it went very well. He weighs 31 pounds and is 37 inches tall. Off the charts for height! He accepted his 3 shots without a whimper.

The doctor asked how he been sleeping and when I told her about his 9-5 schedule, she suggested shortening his naps. So yesterday after an hour and 20 minutes of napping, I went into his room, opened the shutters, then left his door open as I unloaded the dishwasher and did some dinner prep. About 10 minutes later he woke up. Jack went to sleep at 8:45 and slept until 6:15, (without waking in the night, which has been a problem lately) a significant improvement. It's rough to give up the luxurious peace and quiet of his 2 hour naps, but I'll make that sacrifice if the whole family can get a decent night's sleep.

Back in the saddle

After a 1/2 year boycott, Jack has begun riding in his stroller again. It's difficult to express exactly how relieved I am -- carrying 30 squirming pounds on my shoulders gets old very fast.