When it's too quiet....

The evening seemed to be going so well. Jack's day had been strange -- it took him 2 hours to fall asleep for his nap, so we anticipated a struggle at bedtime. Instead, he was rather mellow, and seemed to be asleep at 9.

But when I went in at 10 to tuck him in, I spotted a white something on the floor near his bed. My first thought was that one of his stuffed animals had suffered an industrial accident, but when I got closer I found it was a soaked diaper doubler. Oh no. I peeked under his "tent" to find a sleeping boy with his one-piece pajamas unzipped, diaper half-off, and a wet bed. We re-diapered him, changed his pajamas, put a towel under him in bed, and hoped for the best. He slept fine, and after a marathon laundry session this morning, his bed is now back in order for his nap (fingers crossed).

I talked to him about it this morning, very gently urging him not to take off his diaper at night. When he overheard me telling his grandfather about the incident, he started jumping up and down and said "mommy said not to do that again!"

Many shades of tired

Before I got pregnant and birthed Jack, I never thought much about being tired. This doesn't mean I hadn't been tired before. Back in Brooklyn I arrived at a bread bakery in a seedy part of Long Island City very early twice a week, trudging through the dark streets as prostitutes headed home for the day, their work done. And when I worked at Farley's more often than not I was up at 5 am for the early shift. I have been pleasantly tired by many "day" hikes and completely exhausted with a few hard all-day hikes. A few times returning west from the Sierra on my motorcycle, I recall struggling with the oncoming glare from the sunset and body fatigue, feeling completely beat.

Then I had Jack, and learned the limits of exhaustion and the many shades of tired. There was early pregnancy sleepiness, late pregnancy get-up-every-hour-and-pee-in-the-night and stop-kicking-me-in-the-spleen weariness, and then total exhaustion during the last stage of labor, when I found I could no longer push all the way through the contractions.

Directly after delivery I suppose pain (and terror) were stronger than fatigue, but as my body recovered and I learned to trust that Jack would keep breathing even when I wasn't watching, pure exhaustion set in. I remember sitting in the pediatrician's waiting room trying to fill out paperwork with Hans, the both of us laughing as we struggled to accomplish the simple task. There were countless days splattered with the tears of sheer sleeplessness. For the most part, Jack has been a very healthy baby and toddler, sparing us anxious nights of stomach flu or ear aches, but it was still tough to get up every few hours and breastfeed him for well over a year. I recall attempting to read to him many times when I was so tired I couldn't register the words on the page. I knew what they were, but I couldn't get them out of my mouth. I would start a conversation with Hans but abandon it because I was just too tired to explain something. And worst of all, when I was really really tired, was the total body wipe out. Then I felt my body vibrating slightly, as if I was running 60 miles an hour in 1st gear.

These days Jack sleeps through the night and I suppose I would call myself well-rested (ha). But all it takes is one bad night, waking up at 4 and unable to sleep, or kept up in the wee hours by our slacker neighbors, and I'm back dragging myself through the day. Ah well, you know the name of this blog, right?

Worries and butterfly kisses

Jack has adjusted to the time change, and is sleeping and napping well. Hans puts him to bed between 8:30 and 9, and Jack sleeps until 6:30 or 7. Lately Jack's been requesting butterfly kisses before he goes to sleep, which is cute until he snatches off our glasses (the kid is fast). He likes these eyelash kisses on his nose, ears, mouth, forehead, and cheeks. Usually asks for some on his belly too, but those make him laugh too hard just before a nap or bed.

His verbal skills continue to amaze us. He has learned what it means to worry. Where did learn this? We were listening to "Good Day Sunshine" yesterday, and he said he was worried about "Here Comes the Sun," which is the next song on the CD. He didn't want to listen to it, so I put the player on repeat and we listened to GDS about 10 times in a row (I was hoping he'd be more of a George Harrison fan, oh well).

The weather has been mostly nice so we spend a lot of time outside in the yard or at the playground. Jack likes to water the beets and carrots we planted, and we enjoy watching them grow. Every day something new is leafing out or blooming, which is fun.

When we're inside, Jack is currently mad for play dough and floor puzzles, but anything train-related (or vaguely resembling trains) is a big hit.

State of the garden address

Our backyard assortment of natives and edibles planted last year is looking lively now that winter is waning. The small manzanita is dangling white blossoms, the ceanothus is a froth of purple, and the hummingbird sage is showing off hot pink flowers. California poppy, monkeyflower, California fuschia, toyon, coyote brush, coast live oak, buckwheat, spicebush, mock orange, and various penstemons all made it through the winter and are shooting up and out. I am very happy that the yellow bush lupine is thriving -- I started this from seed last year; the mother plant which literally grew through cement along the City College reservoir now looks quite dead. The coyote mint is the most impressive of the natives -- it's already spread out in a three foot radius. One lemon tree was badly injured during the strong winter storm and is iffy for survival, but the other Meyer lemon is doing well, with many new buds. The buds on the apple trees are just opening up.

Three weeks ago Jack and I began working on our vegetable garden. We started carrot, beet, and lettuce seeds inside, and today planted the sprouts outside in half wine barrels. Jack is enthusiastic about our efforts, and we talk about gardening all the time. I can't wait to eat the results!

I've never grown vegetables, so this is an experiment, mostly prompted by Barbara Kingsolver's Animal, Vegetable, Miracle. Growing our own food (even a little bit of it) seems a good introduction to a host of topics for Jack, including science, cooking, gardening, and ecology. And watching his little fingers sprinkle tiny seeds onto the dirt is pure magic.

It's not just the time change

Jack's nap is slipping from late morning to early afternoon. For some time he's been a dedicated 11:30 napper, but in the past week he hasn't been getting to sleep until about 1 or later. His morning wake up time and bedtime have stayed pretty constant, so I'm not sure where this late nap is going. Could be he's moving toward giving up his nap completely, which we've been expecting and anticipating for some time. Or maybe he's adopting a nap time closer to most kids his age?

Yesterday we went to San Pedro Valley Park in Pacifica for a few rounds of Pooh sticks. It turned out to be a good destination for this, and Jack adored finding sticks and tossing them off the 3 different bridges in the park. We saw and heard many birds, found milkmaids, plum trees, and trilliums in bloom, and enjoyed the sunny mild weather. This photo shows Jack practicing his letters, which he does constantly these days.

Amazing

What a truly awesome week it's been. Jack's verbal comprehension and communication skills have increased dramatically.

For one thing, he simply gets it. Anything and everything! He understands what we're saying and is almost always completely engaged in his interactions. It's no longer us talking at him, it's conversations back and forth.

He speaks in sentences more and more. Last night, Hans was trying to corral Jack into bed and Jack said "not yet." Hans asked him when it would be bedtime, and Jack answered "when the timer goes off" (we've been using a kitchen timer for some "time to..." backup and it works really well).

He understands time issues. We'll go the dentist and then go to the post office and then go home. Or to the playground after nappytime. He gets that.

He often knows what he wants and, with increasing frequency, asks for it politely. After nap, when I ask him if he wants a snack, he'll say (with great excitement) "crackers and cheese stars and cheese and pickles... please!"

He's more agreeable to change, even big changes. We've been trying to get him weaned from his binkeys for a few months, and although he has used them less and less, he has still requested them at nap and bedtime, and several other points during the day. Yesterday at naptime I noticed his 2 binkeys had holes in them. So into the trash they went, and I told Jack why. "We have no more binkeys," I said. And he was kind of quiet. "Beeboo bit a hole in binky," he said. "Yup," I said. "And we don't have any more." And that was it. No crying, no whining. We had the same kind of dialogue at bedtime last night and naptime today. I guess we hit that issue at the right time!

Hopping like a sock monkey

Yesterday Jack seemed to have a big brain growing day. He spoke several complete sentences (even using correct verb tenses!), hopped all over the place, and sang songs. He'd done a little of each of these before, but not with as much skill or intensity, and not all at once.

One of the songs he enjoys singing is a variation of a Yo Gabba Gabba song. We call it the family song. The original song goes, "a mommy, a daddy, a sister, a brother (etc.)... that is our family." Jack's version has a mommy, a da, a beebo, a pinecone monkey, a red engine, a blue engine, train tracks, Auntie Lola red caboose, pooh bear, tigger, rabbit, eeyore, piglet, and Christopher Robin (contents may vary). If we forget one of the members of the family Jacks says, "somebody missing."

Nobody said it was easy

Yesterday was day one of potty training boot camp -- at least that's how it felt to me. The first half of the day went pretty much as I imagined it would, with a couple big puddles in the dining room, some damp underpants, and a bunch of stickers on his potty chart. After his nap though, Jack refused to put his underpants on, and our afternoon was full of tantrums and clinginess. Overall, a totally exhausting day.

Today Jack is willing to wear underpants, but he really doesn't want to sit on the potty. Looks like we'll back off for a few days and then try again.

For now

For now our daily routine is well established and regular. Jack's doing great napping and sleeping, and is eating pretty well. He continues to adore trains and monkeys and is currently in love with the Winnie the Pooh stories.

During this calm center in the midst of Jack's toddler storm, we are about to shake things up in a big way. It's time for potty training.

Jack's been communicating a strong interest, so armed with many new underpants and a timer, we're going to give it a go.

The longer I am a mom, the more I believe that parenthood is one giant impermanence lesson. Jack changes so fast -- every day he is growing and learning and becoming more himself. I hope he will keep growing each day of his life. Potty training is one of the challenges that mark a transition from baby to childhood. It's happy and sad at the same time. For now.

Here comes the sun

After a few weeks of winter storms which kept us cooped up inside, we are all enjoying the wonderful sunny "spring" weather.

Jack is sleeping and eating better these days. Our big new development is that he is putting himself to sleep for his nap and bedtime. Many moons ago he was pretty easy going at nap and bedtime -- we could put him down in his crib awake and he would go to sleep. But when he started teething we couldn't get him to sleep without holding him. This was one of the reasons we put him in a bed at a relatively early age -- he was so big that it was agony hoisting him over the crib rail while he was asleep. In the past few months we've snuggled with him in his bed until he fell asleep, then crept out of the room. Now we cuddle and read and sometimes sing songs (when Jack lets us!). We tuck him in with tigger, pooh, and rabbit (not the Disney animals, just 3 stuffed animals that vaguely resemble the Winne the Pooh characters). Then we leave and listen to the baby monitor. Sometimes he plays with his friends a bit, talks and sings quietly, other days he falls straight asleep. So far he has stayed in bed except for yesterday's nap, when he got up, opened his door (!), and came running out asking to sit on the potty. We did that, then I got back into bed with him and snuggled him until he fell asleep (I think I stayed with him mostly because I was in shock that he had opened the door, and wanted to sit on the potty).

We are thrilled with the improvements in his sleep habits. We never wanted to do cry-it-out or have bedtime become a battleground with screaming and crying and tantrums. Jack actually says he likes taking naps, and bedtime is currently pretty mellow, with some protests, but nothing we can't work through.

Our next challenge: potty training. Jack and I went to the store this morning and bought some underpants (his request). Stay tuned (if you have any advice please post it here!).

An easy week

Despite the steady rain that kept us housebound, this past week has been probably the easiest since Jack was born! He's been sleeping and napping well. Still eating next to nothing, but we weighed him and he's gained a pound since his checkup last month. A typical day's food intake is usually one banana, one cup of juice, a little bit of some other fruit, a small amount of dinner, and milk throughout the day. Crazy!

Jack at a glance 1/22/8

Sleeping: From about 8:30-9:15 to 6, pretty consistent.
Napping: Yes. About 1 1/2-2 hours a day.
Eating: Oh my, no. We have some luck mixing stuff into yogurt. He likes raisins and apples. Last night I snuck some peas into his zucchini and yogurt (it's all he would agree to). But he's really unwilling to eat most of the time. After his nap he gets a small cup of juice which is often a mixture of carrot and apple, so at least he gets a small amount of vegetable, albeit in juice form. We are vigilant about vitamins.
Strollering: Yes! He's doing great in the stroller. I think I've gotten him off my back (literally) for now.
Fun: Jack loves swinging at the playground. For some unknown reason he calls that "monkey tape." The Discovery Museum is the perfect destination these days. Not only do they have a wonderful train room, but there are small dump trucks to push around and a gravel pit for scooping and dumping. At home, he enjoys playing with his trains and legos. Play-doh is a new favorite, and he hardly ever tries to eat it :)
Miscellaneous: He doesn't seem to favor one hand when eating, so we aren't sure if he is left- or right-handed. Jack adores the moon, and looks for it every time we are out walking, and at night. Last week we blew bubbles to the moon! He puts Pinecone (that's his favorite monkey) under a blanket to keep him "toasty warm."

Meet the Beatles!

Hans put together a Beatles mix cd a few weeks ago. We listen to it in Jack's room, and he loves the songs! It starts with "Good Day Sunshine" and "Here Comes the Sun," and as soon as I go into his room in the morning, Jack says "Good Day Sunshine" over and over until I turn it on. He also really enjoys "Me and My Monkey" (of course), "Fixing a Hole Where the Rain Gets in" and "Yellow Submarine".

I'm wondering what other "adult" cds he (and we) would enjoy. Is "Dark Side of the Moon" too strange for a 2-year old?

If anyone can think of good songs featuring monkeys and/or the moon, let me know....

Helping

Not only does Jack not mind when I am busy with household chores, he wants to help! I am happy to devise tasks for him to do alone, or for us to do together.

Together jobs:
changing his sheets
making pizza dough or cookies
unloading the dishwasher (tricky)
vacuuming
laundry
grinding coffee beans

Jack-only jobs:
carrying anything up the stairs
unloading grocery bags
filling the bird feeder
carrying napkins and silverware to the table
weeding (when given strict instructions!)

Teeth, again

Jack's 2-year molars are coming in. He is doing pretty well with this, except that in the past few days he has eaten next to nothing. Today he had 1/2 banana in the stroller on the way to the playground, about 1 cup of yogurt with raisins for lunch, and then more yogurt (no more raisins... I fear the wrath of extra raisins) and 1/2 whole wheat cookie. In retrospect, I should have made oatmeal or peanut butter cookies, at least that way he'd would have had a little more nutrition.

He will not entertain the idea of anything else mixed into his yogurt. No blueberries, peanut butter, or bananas. He will not eat anything else, unless you count milk, which he is drinking quite a bit of.

Thankfully, he will still take his vitamins.

Ugh

Jack has not been sleeping better at night. Tuesday night he slept from 9:15 to 4:45. Last night, again, 9:15 to 4:45, except this morning I managed to get him back to sleep at about 5:30. He got up at 6:15.

Jack is nonplussed by his short nights, but it hasn't been easy on us. We've been taking turns sleeping in the morning. One of us gets up with him and the other puts in earplugs and sleeps a bit more. This morning, although it was my turn to get up with Jack, I reneged on the deal and asked for more sleep -- I had woken up at 1 and tossed and turned for some time, all the while thinking about how I needed to be sleeping.

This mild sleep deprivation is nothing compared to Jack's first few months, when sleep was a very rare and precious thing indeed. But he is very active and strong (body and mind) and after awhile not getting a good night's sleep wears me down.

Two year checkup

Jack had his 2 year doctor visit yesterday, and it went very well. He weighs 31 pounds and is 37 inches tall. Off the charts for height! He accepted his 3 shots without a whimper.

The doctor asked how he been sleeping and when I told her about his 9-5 schedule, she suggested shortening his naps. So yesterday after an hour and 20 minutes of napping, I went into his room, opened the shutters, then left his door open as I unloaded the dishwasher and did some dinner prep. About 10 minutes later he woke up. Jack went to sleep at 8:45 and slept until 6:15, (without waking in the night, which has been a problem lately) a significant improvement. It's rough to give up the luxurious peace and quiet of his 2 hour naps, but I'll make that sacrifice if the whole family can get a decent night's sleep.

Back in the saddle

After a 1/2 year boycott, Jack has begun riding in his stroller again. It's difficult to express exactly how relieved I am -- carrying 30 squirming pounds on my shoulders gets old very fast.

Caution: brain under construction

We are noticing many dramatic developmental changes in the past week, almost as if switches have been flipped in Jack's brain.

Jack can repeat just about anything he hears, even if he only hears it once. We get greatly amused by having him sing snatches of songs -- last night he nailed "throw your weapons down," a lyric from a Neil Young song.

When we read books together, Hans or I often omit key words and have Jack say them. He has a great memory.

The biggest new thing is probably a marked improvement in his motor skills. This happily coincided with a big tub of Christmas duplo, so Jack's been building and stacking for days. He makes tall duplo trains, stacks wood blocks, and lines up and arranges objects in specific ways.

It's been a bit tough getting Jack out of his room and outside these days. Luckily Acrosports starts back up this week -- he always wants to go swing on the trapeze, so I know he'll get lots of exercise at least one day a week!

The monkey way

It's a sure thing: if you want Jack to listen, laugh, or stop crying, just mention monkey. His little stuffed monkey friend delights Jack to no end, and monkey gets incorporated into all kinds of fun activities. He goes to the playground, plays hide and find, helps build duplo houses, and rides on the train. He kisses away owies and snuggles in Jack's pillow nest.

Monkey also worms his way into stories and songs. Thus we have new and improved versions of:
Beatles songs, including Yellow Monkey Train, All You Need is Monkey, and Me and My Monkey (well, the latter is perfect as is)
Books that he particularly loves, such as Baby Blue Cat and the Whole Batch of Cookies, now known as Baby Blue Monkey Cat, etc.
Hotel Monkey Cat California sung at nappytime

Jack's also very likely to reply to any question with monkey for an answer. Anything from what do you want for breakfast to what day is today. Monkey, monkey, monkey!