We've been working on love lately. I tell Jack many times a day that I love him. He usually says nothing back. I tell him I like it when he tells me he loves me. Sometimes he'll say it. This afternoon he said he didn't love me anymore. This would be hard to take if I believed he understood what love is. But I'm just not sure.
This evening, after a long day, I snuggled Jack in bed. He ran his hands through my hair, back and forth. "That feels nice... very loving," I told him. Then I gently touched his soft hair and asked him if he liked that. "I like that very much," he said.
"Stay with me... stay until 5:58." I told him I would see him in the morning, that I was always close by.
"Because I'm in your heart?"
"Yes"
"Even when we're not together?"
"Yes"
"Because you love me so much?"
"Yes"
And then I cried silently, my tears soaking into his hair as I continued to hold him.
Maybe he's just repeating what I tell him constantly. Maybe some part of him understands. I really hope so. But I know he loves me. I've always known he loves me.
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